Why You’re Always Tired & Frustrated
How to Take Back Your Energy and Boundaries
Ever feel like everyone else’s needs have a front-row seat in your life, while yours barely make the playbill?
Boundaries aren’t selfish - they’re survival. Let’s talk about why setting them is the most liberating thing you’ll ever do.
Why Women Are Always Tired: The Invisible Mental Load
It’s the middle of the night. The toilet upstairs has been running for hours, wasting water, humming loud enough to keep you awake. No one else hears it. No one else moves. So you get up, turn off the water supply, and add “call a plumber” to your already endless list.
The next morning, you notice the dishwasher hasn’t been run. Yesterday’s mugs are still sitting on the table. You’re half-asleep, but you start loading and pressing start, because otherwise the pile will just grow bigger.
Later, someone shouts from another room: “Did you make that doctor’s appointment yet?” You grit your teeth. You’ve already reminded them three times to call, and they still haven’t picked up the phone. Now it’s your problem again.
If you’re reading this, you probably recognize yourself in these examples. It might not be the toilet or the dishwasher for you — maybe it’s the school permission slip you signed at the last minute, the groceries you grabbed even though you were exhausted, or the work email you sent because “no one else was going to do it right.”
This is the invisible weight women carry every day. The mental clipboard that never gets put down. And if you’re constantly exhausted, restless, or one straw away from snapping, it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because you’ve been carrying the weight of three people’s lives on your back, and no one seems to notice.
The Invisible Mental Load Women Manage
Every woman has one. It doesn’t live in a LinkedIn profile or a resume template. It’s written in the decades of details she has managed that no one else even sees.
Scheduling doctor’s visits, dentist appointments, and eye exams.
Remembering birthdays, buying gifts, organizing holidays.
Planning vacations down to the snacks and sunscreen.
Keeping the fridge stocked and the bills paid.
Helping kids with homework, teaching them how to drive, preparing them for their first job interview.
Being the emotional sponge when a partner is stressed, a parent is sick, or a child is heartbroken.
This invisible resume doesn’t earn promotions or applause. Instead, it often becomes expected — as though the household, the family, or even the workplace would simply collapse without you quietly managing it all in the background.
Why Self-Care Isn’t Enough
You’ve heard the advice a thousand times: take a bubble bath, light a candle, drink your coffee slowly in the morning.
And maybe you do. Maybe you even carve out time for knitting, reading before bed, or skincare rituals that remind you you’re still human.
But here’s the truth: while those practices are soothing, they’re not restructuring. They buy you short moments of relief, but they don’t stop the cycle of exhaustion.
You can sip the most expensive latte on earth, but if you’re still the only one unclogging the toilet, running the dishwasher, and reminding everyone to call the doctor, you will still feel bone-deep tired.
Self-care is not the problem. Over-functioning is.
The Cycle of Over-Functioning
Here’s how it plays out:
Someone else drops the ball.
You see it, feel it, and know the fallout will land on you anyway.
Instead of letting things fall apart, you step in and fix it.
Life moves on - but now you are even more tired.
Because you handled it, the other person never feels the consequences.
The cycle repeats.
Sound familiar?
Maybe your partner doesn’t remember to pay the electric bill. You pay it, because you don’t want the lights cut off. Or a coworker leaves their part of the project undone. You stay late, because you don’t want the team to look bad.
Each time, you’re teaching others that you’ll pick it up. That you’ll always be the safety net. And once people know you’ll catch everything, they stop trying to juggle at all.
Why You’re Restless & Overwhelmed - It's Not Why You Think
You might think of it as boredom or frustration, but restlessness is often your body’s way of saying: “Enough.”
That buzzing, can’t-sit-still feeling? It’s the internal tug between what you know you should let go of and what you’re still carrying.
It’s not that you don’t have hobbies, or self-care, or escapes. It’s that those practices are happening on top of a foundation that’s still cracked. The clipboard is always waiting. The interruptions are always coming. The moment you breathe out, someone yells your name.
Restlessness isn’t about needing more to do. It’s about needing less to carry.
How to Stop People Pleasing: Why Letting Go Feels Scary
For many women, the thought of not fixing something feels unbearable. “If I don’t do it, who will?”
The honest answer? Sometimes no one.
And that’s exactly why it feels terrifying. Because if you step back, you may actually have to watch things fall apart. The doctor’s appointment doesn’t get scheduled. The toilet keeps running. The dishes pile up.
But here’s the counter-truth: sometimes things need to burn. Sometimes the only way other people learn to carry their weight is by feeling the consequences of dropping it.
And in case you’re curious - yes, I’ve used this same framework in my own life.
Spoiler alert: the house is still standing. And everyone survived.
Support vs. Rescue
Here’s a game-changing distinction:
Support is encouragement, presence, or guidance. “I’m here if you need to talk.” “I can brainstorm options with you.”
Rescue is fixing, hand-holding, and absorbing consequences. “I’ll make the call for you.” “I’ll stay up late and redo it.”
Support is healthy. Rescue is exhausting.
The line you need? “I’m here for support. But I won’t rescue.”
It’s simple, but it’s radical. It says: “I will walk beside you, but I won’t carry your weight for you.”
How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt: Stop Being Everyone's Rescuer
That’s the million-dollar question, right? If it were as easy as deciding, you would have stopped years ago.
The truth is, it takes practice. It takes testing what happens when you don’t rush in. It takes building trust that the world won’t collapse if you stop catching every falling plate.
That’s why I created the Rescue Detox Framework - a simple, three-step worksheet to help you practice letting go in one area of your life this week.
It’s not about abandoning people. It’s about reclaiming yourself.
Your Next Step
If you’ve been reading this nodding your head, whispering “this is me,” then you already know self-care alone isn’t enough. You need a way to stop rescuing, without guilt, and to redirect that energy back into your own life.
👉 Download the free Rescue Detox Worksheet here. Inside, you’ll find a guided exercise to:
Identify where you over-rescue
Choose one rescue habit to let go
Redirect that energy into sovereignty, not exhaustion
You’ve carried enough. It’s time to put the clipboard down.
