Decluttering vs Curating
Living a Curated Life
I was feeling like I needed to do some decluttering the other day. I walked around the house, poked through closets and cabinets, even looked under the bed. I asked ChatGPT for ideas of things or places to declutter. Then I had a realization: after about two years of consistent decluttering, I don't have anything left to declutter.
Everything remaining is either going to be sold, stored, or taken with me when I move. That's when it hit me - I'm no longer in my declutter era.
I've entered my curated life era.
Honestly, this transition caught me completely off guard. For two years, I'd been in full-blown declutter mode - getting rid of, donating, selling, or tossing. It was exhausting, but it felt productive. It made me feel like I was at least in control of SOMETHING in my life. But standing there with my basket, I realized I wasn't asking "What needs to go?" anymore. I was asking "What gets to stay?" And that small shift in language changed everything.
The Shift: From Elimination to Elevation
This shift caused me to sit down for a minute in front of my bookcase and try to figure what question I should be asking, if it’s not – “What here needs to go”.
Then it hit me: What deserves front row access to my life?
I was looking at the stack of books I had left to read before my move, and I had to really think about it. I had novels that promised escapism and entertainment, self-development books that could shift my perspective, biographies of inspiring leaders, and dense academic texts that would challenge my thinking. Each category served a different purpose, but with limited time and mental energy, I needed to choose strategically.
Based on the current season I'm in, what truly deserves that front row access? This question forced me to consider not just what I wanted to read, but what would best serve my current life and goals.
With two guiding questions – “What deserves front row access to my life?” and “What season am I in?”; Instead of just grabbing whatever looked interesting, I thought about what my life looked like right now. Honestly? My brain feels fried most days. The last thing I needed was another heavy book telling me how to optimize my life while I’m trying to figure out high school graduation, college applications, root canals, and visas.
The "season" concept is crucial here. Just as we change our wardrobes with the weather, our life seasons require different types of mental and emotional support. A season of high stress calls for different down time than a season of growth or transition. A period of major life changes might require something lighter, more comforting, while a stable period might be perfect for tackling that book on Neurolinguistic Programming. (yep that’s an option on my bookcase)
In the end, I grabbed an old basket, sat in front of my bookcase, and asked myself those same questions What deserves front row access to my life?” and “What season am I in? over and over.
I chose to focus on lighter books – We’ll Prescribe You a Cat by Syou Ishida, A Distant View of Everything by Alexander McCall Smith and Out of Oz by Gregory Maguire just to name a few. The reasoning? With so much heavy, serious learning happening in other areas of my life, I needed a mental and emotional break. I needed books that would restore rather than drain, that would provide escape rather than additional weight to carry.
This decision taught me something important: curation isn't about choosing the "most important" or "most productive" option. It's about choosing what serves your current needs and circumstances. Sometimes the most curated choice is the lightest one. This is something we all could learn to make peace with I think.
It's all about boundaries and balance. I wrote a post recently about boundaries and you can read it here it you are interested.
How We Get Here: The Decluttering Journey
Two years ago, I went on a decluttering spree during a time when life felt overwhelming and suffocating. I was stuck in what felt like Groundhog Day. I used to joke and say – my brain kicks in before I even kick off the covers. Every time I sat down, I found something that needed to be cleaned, moved, organized, thrown out, or straightened up. Books overflowing from shelves, clothes that no longer fit my body or lifestyle, shoes I hadn't worn in years, kitchen gadgets I'd used once, home decor that felt more like clutter than beauty, beauty products that promised transformation but delivered a basket of chaos - I even did a complete digital declutter of photos, files, and subscriptions.
The decluttering phase serves an important purpose. You know how you can't plant a beautiful garden when it's completely overrun with weeds? You have to clear out what's choking the life out of everything first. Same thing here. You can't curate a life you love when you're drowning in stuff.
The elimination era teaches you what you can live without, what you don't miss when it's gone, and what truly adds value to your daily life.
I learned a few weeks into this journey that I had been having mini strokes, and my stress and anxiety levels were dangerously high.
The constant feeling that I needed to clean, declutter and organize wasn't just about aesthetics or organization - it was about health and wellbeing.
Fast forward to today: now I know that when I feel the urge to declutter, it's often a signal that I'm stressed, my anxiety is elevated, and I need to check my boundaries.
Decluttering has become my early warning system as much as a way to organize my stuff.
What Does It Mean to Live in Your Curated Era?
Living in your curated era looks different than the decluttering phase. There are two big shifts that happen, and honestly, they sneak up on you:
1. Intentional Elevation, Not Elimination
Decluttering = Elimination - getting rid of things that no longer fit our lives. It's about creating space by removing the excess, the outdated, the broken, and the irrelevant.
Intentional Elevation, however, is about being deliberate, focused, and planned about what you have in your life and around you daily.
How does this look in real life – Here is how I use it
The Future-Proofing Lens:
I ask myself, "Would I pay to store it, ship it, or cart it through Europe?" This question has become my go-to reality check for what actually adds value to my life. It makes me think beyond just "Do I use this?" or “Do I really want this?” to "Is this worth investing money to keep if everything changed?" Like, would I choose this item again today if I was starting completely fresh?
This lens is particularly powerful for those facing life transitions - moves, career changes, relationship shifts, or life stage changes. It helps you distinguish between things you keep out of habit and things you keep because of genuine value.
What Kind of Nervous System Are You?
The elevation phase requires you to first decide how much visual stimulation works for your particular nervous system. Some people genuinely thrive in cozy, maximalist environments filled with candles on every surface, books stacked on tables, plants in every corner, and art covering the walls. Others require clean surfaces, minimal visual input, and calm, uncluttered spaces to think clearly and feel at peace. Neither approach is right or wrong - they're just different. At the end of the day; it’s about what feels good to you and brings you peace.
Here's the thing - you've got to figure out how much visual stuff your brain can handle before it starts feeling chaotic. A person who needs visual richness will feel anxious and restless in a stark environment, while someone who needs visual calm will feel overwhelmed and scattered in a busy space.
Once you know your type, ask yourself about each potential addition to your space:
"Will this elevate my peace of mind or eliminate it?"
This simple question cuts through social media noise, FOMO, and impulse decisions so you can focus on what has a meaningful impact on your space and peace of mind.
2. Curation Sets the Stage
Decluttering creates empty spaces – a blank canvas waiting for intention. Curation gives those spaces a purposeful role in your life, setting the stage for how each room, corner, or surface will perform when you're in it. And this doesn’t just apply to your living space. Think about your car for example. Or your desk at work? How about the items you choose to take with you to the gym or the yoga studio?
Ask yourself – will it help you feel relaxed and restored? Inspired to cook? Motivated to move your body? Focused enough for deep work?
Think about it like this: you're basically the director of your own life, and every room is a different scene. So, everything in that room should help tell the story of what happens there.
If it's not adding to the vibe you're going for, why is it taking up space?
Curation isn't about achieving magazine-perfect aesthetics or following design trends. It's about creating intentional environments that actively support your goals, values, and wellbeing.
It's about designing spaces that work for your actual life, not an imaginary version of it.
This approach requires honesty about how you actually live, work, and relax. Do you really read in that reading nook you created, or do you actually prefer to read in bed? Do you use that exercise corner, or does it just make you feel guilty every time you see it? Effective curation aligns your environment with your authentic habits and choices, not your aspirational ones.
Signs You Need to Curate Your Space
Recognizing when you've moved beyond the need for decluttering and into the need for curation can help you address problems more effectively. Here are a couple signs:
1: Processing Delays and Visual Overwhelm
It takes you longer to find things, even when you know generally where they are. When you walk into a room, you pause and visually scan before locating what you need. Your keys are definitely on the kitchen counter, but it takes a few seconds of searching to spot them among the other items.
That delay is called visual processing decline, and it's not a personal failing. A Yale neuroscience study found that cluttered environments make your eyes and the visual cortex part of your brain work overtime, like trying to have a conversation in a noisy restaurant. [Link to study]
Even in "clean" spaces, too many visual elements competing for attention can slow down your cognitive processing. A curated space feels good to your brain and eyes, reducing the mental energy required for basic tasks like finding your keys and getting to work on time.
The solution isn't necessarily to have fewer things, but to organize things so your eyes (and your brain) don't have to work so hard. Maybe that's putting all your coffee stuff on one tray, or keeping your counters the same general color family, or making sure each surface has one main job instead of being a catch-all for random stuff.
2: Mental Fog and Emotional Heaviness
You feel mentally foggy, emotionally heavy, or unusually tired in certain rooms, even when you're well-rested. This was a major red flag for me. It's a sign of cognitive overload - your brain is working harder than it should just to process your environment.
In its mildest form, cognitive overload leaves you feeling frustrated, scattered, and tired without obvious cause. You might find yourself avoiding certain rooms or feeling relief when you leave them. In more severe cases like mine, it can contribute to serious health issues including stress-related neurological symptoms.
This is particularly common in multi-purpose spaces that lack clear organization or intention. A bedroom that's also an office, storage room, and craft space, for example, sends conflicting signals to your brain about what kind of mental and emotional state we want to be in.
3: Home Should Be Your Sanctuary, Not Your Stressor
You're more stressed at home than anywhere else - yes, even more stressed than at work. Your home should be your refuge, the place where you can decompress and recharge. When it becomes a source of stress rather than relief, something needs to shift.
Chronic stress raises cortisol levels, which affects not only weight and mood but can cause headaches, poor sleep quality, digestive issues, and a constant restless feeling like you've consumed too much caffeine. When your home environment contributes to this chronic stress response, it undermines your health and wellbeing in real ways.
Often, this stress comes not from mess or disorder, but from environments that don't match your needs or lifestyle. A kitchen that's beautiful but not functional for the way you actually cook. A living room arranged for entertaining that you never do.
Spaces that look good but don't feel good to live in.
4: Sensory Overload Symptoms
Your senses feel like they're constantly on. You suddenly can't tolerate the texture of your sweater for another minute, or the sound of a pencil dropping makes you jump. You find yourself craving silence, dimmer lighting, or smoother textures without understanding why.
This is sensory overload, and it's especially common for highly sensitive people, introverts, neurodivergent individuals, or anyone dealing with high stress levels. Your nervous system is working overtime to process your environment, leaving less capacity for other tasks and decisions.
Curating for sensory comfort might mean choosing softer lighting, reducing visual patterns, incorporating more natural textures, or creating quiet zones within your home. It's about designing your environment to support your nervous system rather than challenge it.
How to Set the Stage: The Three-Step Curation Process
Think of curation like directing a play. Every element should serve the overall production and support the main character - YOU. This can be accomplished in three strategic steps:
1. Choose the Scene: Define the Space's Primary Purpose
Before adding or arranging anything, get crystal clear about what you want this space to help you do or feel. Are you creating a place for creativity and inspiration? A sanctuary for rest and restoration? A space for focused work and productivity? A gathering place for connection and conversation?
Most spaces can serve multiple functions, but they should have one primary purpose that drives all design decisions. A bedroom's primary function is rest, even if you also read, fold laundry, or get dressed there. A home office's primary function is productive work, even if you also pay bills or browse the internet there.
This clarity prevents the mixed-signal environments that drain mental energy. When a room doesn't have a clear identity, your brain has to work harder to understand how to behave in that space.
2. Set the Props: Curate Only What Serves the Purpose
Once you're clear on the room's role, include only items that actively support that purpose. This isn't about minimalism; it's about relevance. A creativity space might have abundant art supplies, inspiration boards, and project materials. A rest space might have soft lighting, comfortable textures, and calming colors.
If you want to use a space for yoga and meditation, don't include work papers, exercise equipment for other activities, or stimulating artwork. These items aren't bad, but they don't serve the space's primary purpose and may actually undermine it.
For work spaces, this means surrounding yourself only with items that support focus, deep work and productivity. This might include inspirational quotes, plants that improve air quality, organizational tools, and comfortable lighting. But it probably doesn't include family photos (which can trigger emotional distractions), exercise equipment (which suggests you should be doing something else), or hobby supplies (which compete for attention).
3. Rotate the Cast: Seasonal and Life-Stage Adjustments
Just like theater productions, your life's stage should evolve with the seasons - both literal seasons and life seasons. What serves you in fall might not serve you in spring. What you need during a period of high stress is different from what you need during a time of growth and expansion.
This might mean rotating decor elements: cozy and grounding in fall with warm colors, soft textures, and heavier materials, then shifting to light and energizing in spring with brighter colors, fresh flowers, and cleaned surfaces. But it can go deeper than decoration.
In a work season, you might curate for focus and productivity. During a recovery season, you might prioritize comfort and restoration. In a creative season, you might emphasize inspiration and possibility. The key is matching your environment to your current needs rather than trying to create one perfect space that serves all purposes equally.
This rotation keeps your spaces fresh and relevant rather than stagnant. It also prevents you from accumulating items that served a past version of yourself but no longer fit your current life.
The Ripple Effect: Beyond Physical Spaces
When you curate your environment like a stage; whether it's your home, your desk at work, your car, or even your digital spaces; everything shifts from background noise to intentional support for your life.
This approach extends beyond physical objects to relationships, commitments, information consumption, and time allocation. You can curate your social media feeds, your weekend plans, your professional projects, and your daily routines using the same principles.
The curated life asks: What deserves my attention? What supports my current season and goals? What elevates my wellbeing versus what drains it? These questions help you make decisions that align with your authentic priorities rather than external pressures or unconscious habits.
The Key Question That Changes Everything
Remember, the question isn't "What can I get rid of to feel better?" but rather
"What deserves front row access to my life right now?"
This shift from elimination-focused thinking to selection-focused thinking changes everything. Instead of constantly evaluating what's wrong with your current situation, you're actively choosing what's right for you in your current life situation.
When you start curating your life this way, every corner becomes a stage designed to support the person you're becoming. Your environment stops being something that happens to you and becomes something you intentionally create.
The result isn't perfection - it's alignment. Spaces that feel good to be in, objects that serve real purposes, and an overall sense that your environment is working with you rather than against you.
Try This: This month, create your own "reading basket moment." Choose a few books, habits, or daily rituals that deserve front row access to your life right now, based on your current season and needs. Let everything else rotate to the background for now. Notice how this focused attention changes both your experience and your results.
